Iraqi democracy: Spending our money with the best of them

During a masturbatory speech today about the greatness of the new Iraqi democracy, Bush suggested the lawmakers there were making more progress than the U.S. Congress. The basis for this ridiculous notion is Iraq's successful endorsement of a national budget while our own lawmakers continue to rankle over a financial blueprint for the United States. For Bush, this great revelation is proof that the invasion was an ingenious move that has practically rained positive results down on an overjoyed populace. Oh boy, they can spend money! Fucking wow!:

"(The Iraqis) got their budget passed," the president said. "Sometimes it takes our Congress awhile to get its budget passed."

Without sounding too flip, I just have to say this first: Bush, you're one oven short of a bake sale. Sure, Iraqi lawmakers passed a budget, I'll give you that. But let's not forget that the U.S. is sending billions and billions and billions of dollars to run Iraq's "democracy," so it's not like the lawmakers have to make many tough funding decisions because we pay for all the shit they need. It also helps to live above a universe of oil. I'm sure our Congress could work a bit faster if a foreign nation was sending us $3 trillion and we had enough oil under us that those same nations would invade us to get it.

Oh, and don't forget the matter of the Iraqi government's monsoon of corruption. I'm sure it's easy for lawmakers to pass a national budget when they're laughing all the way to the bank. According to the GAO, Iraq's central ministries spent a mere 4.4 percent of their "investment budget," of which 90 percent is supposed to fund capital projects. Where's the money going? Nobody knows! But I'm sure that's just a perk of Iraq's stable, flawless, superior democratic process. I'm sure the fact that Iraqis are fleeing their shitpile of a country by the millions to escape a criminal lack of infrastructure and daily violence is just another testament of how well that government is functioning.

Right. Here in America we have a semblance of accountability. We sort of know where our money is going. But accountability also means bureaucracy, which all equates to a long budget process, and with so many lawmakers weighing in, it sort of takes a long time. Bush should know this; he's only been president for nearly eight years, and a state governor before that, and (in theory) a participant of our democracy before that.

Another thing: Our lawmakers may be taking their sweet time to pass a federal budget, but I really can't blame them, considering the proposals they have to reconcile. One look at the White House's version of the budget, for instance, is enough to send me over the deep end. Bush wants to slash vital programs by billions, including Medicaid, and he is seeking to eliminate the Emergency Medical Services for Children Program, which supports children's hospitals, according to the Children's Defense Fund. I'm not sure what Bush has against children, aside from the fact that he's been a spoiled-brat millionaire his entire life and can't even imagine the hardship of poverty.

Meanwhile, the funding for the Iraq and Afghanistan wars are skyrocketing, and Bush hopes to cement wealthy-based tax cuts. That's the brilliant budget sent to Congress. That's the shit Congress has to sift through as it tries to balance all the interests. That's called democracy -- and that's not in the least what Bush likes to see. He wants his budget to be rubber-stamped without any review or debate. What Bush wants is fascism, and his fondness for Iraq's government is a formidable sign. We should worry deeply about any governmental system that Bush says is working smoothly.

I understand nation building is a long process. Anybody who says they expect the Iraqi government to be flawless at this stage is completely delusional. What is infuriating is when Bush struts out to the podium and lies through his teeth, saying things are great when they are obviously not. And to even suggest that the perpetrators of a corrupt Middle Eastern government less than six years old is somehow more fair or efficient than the 200-year-old American democracy is just ludicrous.

My respect for the president would skyrocket if he could just come out and say, "Hey, things are fucked up over there, but what do you expect from a democracy that's just a few years old? Oh, and it's all my fault."