Conservative pundits: Still lying after all these years

The soulless ghouls who lurk within the halls of conservative media have always been easily ignored, but it's hard to shrug and move on when their insane alarmist whining turns to outright lies.

Consider the three stooges of fear-based conservative ranting -- Rush "Jesus I'm Huge" Limbaugh, Sean "Please Lord Shave My Eyebrows" Hannity, and Michelle "It's Not Racist Cause I Sort Of Look Asian" Malkin -- who recently hit the airwaves raving about Obama's economic adviser Robert Reich. Reich, it seems, told Congress that stimulus money should create jobs that benefit a wide range of people, such as women and minorities, and not JUST white construction workers who dominate infrastructure jobs. The "just" is a key word here, as Reich was adding people to the list, not disqualifying. Here's what he said:

Now let me say something about infrastructure. It seems to me that infrastructure spending is a very important and good way of stimulating the economy. The challenge will be to do it quickly, to find projects that can be done that have ahigh social return that also can be done with the greatest speed possible.

I am concerned, as I'm sure many of you are, that these jobs not simply go to high skilled people who are already professions or to white male construction workers. I have nothing against white male construction workers. I'm just saying that there are a lot of other people who have needs as well. And therefore, in my remarks I have suggested to you, and I'm certainly happy to talk about it more, ways in which the money can be -- criteria can be set so that they money does go to others: the long term unemployed, minorities, women, people who are not necessarily construction workers or high-skilled professionals.

Enter the panic police, those serial killers of journalism. When Reich said MORE people should be eligible for stimulus-based jobs, apparently Malkin/Hannity/Limbaugh heard that FEWER (white) people should be eligible. Which makes sense, I guess, if you're a fucking idiot. Here's what Malkin said:

And just today -- I think this is very related, Megyn -- another video came out of Robert Reich, the economic adviser formerly from the Clinton administration and now from [President] Obama, talking about how the stimulus funds should not go to white male contractors. It's the same kind of mentality of bean counting, and, you know, it's the same old, same old. It's the same old Democrat mentality of treating people based on the color of their skin rather than the content of their character or the content of their resumes. You know, not exactly the kind of legacy we thought Martin Luther King was supposed to leave.

Hey Malkin, I'm just throwing this out there, but do you think it's wise to blatantly misquote a public figure when his statement is easily accessible and in pretty clear English? I'm just saying it might make you look like a real asshole in front of all those savvy Fox News viewers (hold for laughter). Now, watch how Limbaugh puts down his cheeseburger for eight seconds to add some healthy racism to Reich's statement:

LIMBAUGH: Talking about the money we're going to spend on the infrastructure plan. Roads, bridges, all that stuff. But he doesn't want it to go to white construction workers; he wants it to go to inexperienced minorities and single women. He's got nothing against white construction workers but, but, but, but the money needs to go to others. These people are crazy. They're just -- if I heard myself talk like this I would be so embarrassed.

What was that about the liberal media again?

Our long fundamentalist nightmare is over

"We know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus, and nonbelievers." -- Barack Obama

Pitter patter of little feet (in Palin's mouth)

I was viewing this absurd video the other day featuring a (still) breathlessly amateur and semi-literate Sarah Palin and some hackish "interviewer" who made me want to tear out my retinas. The gist of the illuminating conversation -- a result of laughably obvious, pandering and leading questions -- was the following:

* Sarah Palin's inability to answer tough questions -- such as "what newspapers and magazines do you read?" -- was actually a media conspiracy by Katie Couric to make Palin look bad.

* The reason why Palin couldn't name any specific reading material is that Katie Couric's question was unclear and misleading. This is a blatant lie, of course, given that Couric was crystal clear when she asked: "When it comes to establishing your worldview...what newspapers and magazines did you regularly read before you were tapped?" And when Palin responded by saying "any of them," Couric followed up with: "Which ones specifically?" Sadly, Palin couldn't name a single fucking newspaper, even after Couric elaborated. Now, Palin wants to write it off as though she didn't understand the question, hoping nobody will actually go back and review the Couric interview. Some day, politicians are going to realize that YouTube has been invented.

* Just for giggles, after essentially saying that the English language is a foreign concept, Palin rails off a few publications she peruses: USA Today and The New York Times. Hey Palin, just a suggestion here, but if you're trying to convince people of your creativity in the newspaper department, you might want to pick something other than the highest circulated paper in the country.

* Palin feels it isn't newsworthy for a Republican candidate who publicly supports failed abstinence-only policies to have an unwed, pregnant teenage daughter. Further, when comedians poke fun at the hilarious irony, she turns into a "mama grizzly" (although she's most likely the last, given Alaska's fetish for killing off wildlife). Instead of attacking her family, Palin says, the media should focus on her. Unless the media are questioning her qualifications or reading habits, then that's off limits, too.

* Palin's stupidity provides job security for people in the "elite" media, and she's happy to oblige. Or something. I stopped paying attention so I could go throw myself off a building.

Here's a link to the video.