Domestic terrorism: Fun for the whole family

ter·ror·ism
–noun
1. the use of violence and threats to intimidate or coerce, esp. for political purposes.
2. the state of fear and submission produced by terrorism or terrorization.
3. a terroristic method of governing or of resisting a government.

Oh boy! I wake up Monday morning from a lazy weekend of non-news, and I find out a degenerate pack of domestic terrorists have burned a subdivision of Seattle homes to the ground in the name of environmentalism. What?

AP -- Fire engulfed five luxury homes Monday morning at a subdivision north of Seattle in what could be a case of ecoterrorism, officials said.

Firefighters attack blazes at luxury homes Monday in suburban Seattle, Washington.

A sign with the letters "ELF" was found at the scene of the fires in the "Street of Dreams" development in Woodinville, Washington, said Chief Rick Eastman of Snohomish County Fire District No. 7.

Eastman did not say if the sign is believed to be from the Earth Liberation Front, which the FBI has called an ecoterrorist group.

"Built green? Nope black!" the sign reads, according to an image from CNN affiliate KING-TV in Seattle. The sign calls the homes "McMansions."

John Heller, president of Seattle Street of Dreams, said he had spoken to the fire chief and was told that the fires were suspicious. Video Watch fires burn luxury homes »

"My understanding is that it was an act of terror," Heller said.

The FBI said the fires are being investigated as an act of domestic terrorism.

The funny thing is that these terrorists (yes, they are terrorists) are so absent from reality that they use their misplaced rage for purposes that make absolutely no sense. For instance, how can you possibly make the logical connection between torching big houses and environmental justice? What, because people are wealthy enough to buy a "McMansion," somehow that's anti-environment? I think what these terrorists are really saying is the symbolism of wealthiness hurts the environment, and rich people are just bad for the world. That makes sense. I'll shut up now; everything is so clear to me now.


What's that? You're wondering about the photo? Oh that's just Al Gore's 20-room mansion. You remember Al -- Nobel Peace Prize, famous for environmental justice, pretty much responsible for the surge of environmental consciousness in politics. Yeah, he's rich. Really rich. Around $100 million rich, and just look at that gigantic house! Using ELF's thin standards for arson, we should all buy tickets to Nashville and go burn that sucker down!

Hilariously (if it weren't so depressing), the homes in Seattle were also build with the environment in mind (just like Al Gore's!), although they did include regular amenities that very wealthy people generally demand and are able to afford (From AP):

"It's very disappointing to take a situation where we're tying to promote good building practices — Built Green practices — and that it's destroyed," said Doug Barnes, the Northwest division president of Centex Homes in Kirkland.

Advertising for the most recent Street of Dreams show focused on the earth-friendly aspects of the homes, which were smaller than some of the huge houses featured in years past. Although the homes featured energy efficient appliances, water-saving toilets and nontoxic paint, they also included three- and four-car garages, and luxuries such as home theaters, spas and bars.

Ah, social justice. It's great. And violence is obviously the only thing that works. For instance, remember back in the '60s when Martin Luther King was fighting for black equality, and he burned down the homes of all those white people? Or when Rosa Parks torched that bus because she was fed up with all that white oppression? Oh wait...