Anger is a funny thing. Sometimes it will drive you to stupidity, like accelerating at extreme speeds because you can't find a fucking parking space on campus, breaking the nearest object after a high-intensity game of Monopoly, or maybe even getting arrested at a basketball game -- after assaulting a sixth-grade girl:
ESTACADA (AP) — Clackamas County sheriff’s deputies arrested a sixth-grade girls basketball coach Sunday, accusing him of taunting a high-school-age referee over his officiating and refusing to leave after being ejected, leading to a swarming onto the court floor by angry fans.
Sheriff’s department spokesman Jim Strovink said Jeffery Scott Larsen, 34, of Molalla, was charged with misdemeanor criminal trespassing of a sporting event.
Deputies went to the Estacada High School gym Saturday after getting calls about a disturbance over officiating of the game between teams from Estacada and Molalla.
Strovink said Deputy Brian Pearson reported that the disturbance began when Larsen, the Molalla coach, received two technical fouls and was ejected.
Pearson said Larsen remained in the building and verbally harassed the game’s 17-year-old referee, an Estacada High School student. The deputy’s report said Larsen threatened the referee physically and directed a profane attack at the boy after the game.
Strovink said via e-mail that Larsen got his first technical in the first half when he contested a foul call on one of his players. The second came in the second half when Larsen slammed his clipboard on the hand of a sixth-grade girl who was the scorekeeper.
The girl suffered a cut but did not require medical attention.
Seriously? A sixth-grade girl? I wonder if any action exists in this universe of human interaction that would make you a bigger douche than hurting a small child because you can't contain your rage over a sport involving 12-year-olds. And I'm not sure what the point is berating a high-school-age official. It stands to reason that the kid probably didn't have a whole lot of experience, and even so, IT'S A FUCKING SIXTH-GRADE BASKETBALL GAME. We're not talking about the NCAA championship here. I'm pretty sure nobody had any money riding on it. Fuck, I take that back. This town is clearly that stupid.
But not to be outdone by the antics of the coach, the fans also grew increasingly distressed, possibly due to sexual frustration or the fact that all they have to do in fucking Estacada is fight each other over sixth-grade basketball:
Strovink said reports were that Larsen refused to leave the arena when ejected and continued to yell at the officiating.
The e-mail said fan hostility grew and at the end of the game fans of both teams went onto the floor taunting the referee and insulting each other.
When a pack of prepubescent girls consists of the most mature, reasonable people in the room, I'd say it's time for a major reassessment of your environs.
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