Quick recap (and some boobs!)

Well, here we go again with this human three-ring circus.

The California Supreme Court decides discrimination is generally a bad thing and announces that gay couples can enjoy the same rights as me and my fellow straight people. Yet another victory for civil rights that I'm positive the voters of California, in their infinite wisdom and homophobia, will destroy in November with a constitutional amendment.

In response, the Pope shits a golden brick from that soulless, decrepit ass of his and mumbles something that I couldn't understand because I don't speak fascist; the Christian elite in America retreat to their mansions in panic at the upcoming social apocalypse; and I'm sitting here wondering how any of these boneheads were allowed to dictate a personal decision like marriage in the first place. Again, I'm left to wonder.

Meanwhile, as the culture war rages and I yawn in agony, a Christian group in San Diego called The Resistance pushes for a boycott of Starbucks because the company's new logo depicts a mermaid with breasts. No word yet on how a barely legible drawing of breasts on a mermaid is decaying the fabric of our morality, although it does raise troubling questions about my bizarre attraction to mermaids. We won't go into that.

Hey, The Resistance, let me do you a fucking favor:


There we go. Now they're old news.