A dark time

I'm not sure which alignment of the stars resulted in this cinematic catastrophe, but apparently some misguided Hollywood executives with no respect for true art think a no-name hack director should revisit the disturbingly genius "Donnie Darko." The sequel starts production this month, and I wish I were kidding.

The travesty is Richard Kelly was traded for Chris Fisher, the guy who directed "Nightstalker" and other mind-numbing epics. Haven't heard of that one? Well allow me to enlighten you: "A horror film based on the life of Richard Ramirez, aka the Night Stalker, who terrorized people in the Los Angeles area during the mid-1980s." So you can tell already the bar has been set really high by the people responsible for this nightmare.

According to Wikipedia, the story follows Darko's younger sister as she accompanies her friend on a road trip to Las Vegas, where I'm positive the story devolves into some utterly childish horror dreck worthy of the guy who made "Nightstalker." Here's the full synopsis, if you can bear it to read it:

Filming will begin for S. Darko, the sequel to Donnie Darko. UK-based sales company Velvet Octopus will be launching sales for the film in Cannes, with Fox already having required North American rights. S. Darko will be set seven years after the end of Donnie Darko, when Donnie's little sister Samantha and her best friend Corey are now 18 and on a roadtrip to Las Vegas when they are plagued by bizarre visions. Daveigh Chase, who portrayed Samantha Darko in Donnie Darko, will be reprising her role. The cast will also include Ed Westwick, Briana Evigan and Justin Chatwin. Chris Fisher will direct the film, shooting on an estimated $10,000,000 budget and commenting he is "a great admirer of Richard Kelly's film and hope[s] to create a similar world of blurred fantasy and reality." Donnie Darko director Kelly is, however, not involved. According to Simon Crowe of Velvet Octopus, the character of Donnie Darko will not be coming back, but there will be "meteorites and rabbits".

Oh gee, I guess it won't be so bad given the meteorites and rabbits will be represented. But, um, what about the incredible dialogue? The mysterious and interesting plot? The social commentary? The cast of top actors? The paranoid schizophrenia? Will we be treated to any of that in this brilliant new production?

Incidentally, Daveigh Chase, the actress who played Darko's sister in the first movie, is from Albany, Oregon. She apparently spends quite a bit of time there when she's not living in Los Angeles or crawling out of TV sets in movies like "The Ring." I could conceivably go to Albany and ask why she is contributing to the death of cinema, but Albany fucking sucks.