Folks, until this junction in my life I've been operating under the basic assumption that the end of humanity would be signaled by three clear signs of the coming apocalypse:
1. Rudy Giuliani would be elected president
2. Zac Efron from "High School Musical" would make the cover of Rolling Stone (already come to pass!)
3. I would catch myself humming along to a Justin Timberlake song on the radio (OK, listen, "Love Stoned" is pretty fucking catchy, so I don't want to hear about it.)
As much as I've relied on this list to keep myself optimistic about waking up in the morning, I'm afraid it's being trumped by a much more sinister and pernicious force: CNN has a Britney Spears live blogger at the Los Angeles Courthouse.
That's right, a (respected?) global news agency actually has a PRODUCER staking out the courthouse, making regular updates about whether Britney Spears has arrived for her hearing about getting back visitation rights for her kids. It's comedy gold, yet crushingly depressing at the same time, like a Carrot Top show. Consider these gems (emphasis added):
CNN Producer Jack Hannah is live at the Los Angeles Superior Court this morning coordinating CNN's coverage of the latest in the Britney Spears-Kevin Federline child custody case. He is contributing reports throughout the day as events unfold at the courthouse.
At times, the blog appears to be a self parody, as if the producer KNOWS he's full of shit for being there, but is hoping to make it look like the rest of the media are the real idiots:
11:20 a.m PT:
Members of the media have been asked multiple times to keep the noise down. Apparently there are other cases being heard at this courthouse. Go figure.
11:32 a.m PT:
On her way back into the courtroom, Anne Kiley, an attorney from the Spears camp, said she had "no comment" when asked if she knew if Britney is going to show up.
Members of the media out here are now commenting how nice Anne Kiley's shoes are.
Most of it, however, is just plain ridiculous. Like somebody-call-the-coroner-because-journalism-is-dead ridiculous:
10:32 a.m PT:
The attorneys for both sides are taking a short break.
Federline's attorney, Mark Vincent Kaplan, walked briskly past members of the media and held up both hands as if to say, "Back away, I have nothing to say yet."
There are media outlets from all over the world. As I type this, a lady is sitting next to me speaking German.
Omigod! German?!? How chic!
1 comment:
It's up to the big media to discredit blogging as a serious medium. Otherwise, blogging rules. Case in point.
NEXT!
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